How Do You Make Life-Changing Decisions?

Thought Catalog

First, you get rid of the notion that anything about your life is really at stake. Whatever happens, you’ll be fine. You’re not deciding whether to opt for chemo or not.

That is to say: calm down. We, the young and ambitious, deal almost exclusively with rich white people problems. We’re not going to starve if we make the wrong decision.* There is very little we can’t undo.

Of course, that doesn’t make life-changing decisions any less intimidating or take away the fact that the adults in our lives did next to nothing in the way of preparing us. I think that’s why since I dropped out of school (and wrote about it as it was happening) people have been coming to me as though I have some special insight on making these kinds of calls. Since I did it then and have done it several times since, they think I…

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7 Reasons Why Men Shouldn’t Pay For Women On The First Date

Thought Catalog

Feminism has come a long way, and the fact that it’s been less than a century since women in America got the right to vote seems utterly ludicrous now – as it well should. But to my great surprise, the idea that the man should be the one to pay the bill on the first date seems to stand up well in the face of time. I mean, it’s comfortable having someone shell out their hard-earned money to feed me, but it feels so wrong and outdated! Nevertheless, men and women alike seem to passionately disagree with me whenever I bring this topic up, which is why I decided to put together a list of the seven main reasons why men shouldn’t pay for women on the first date. These are based around a first date scenario set in a restaurant, both because it is a good old cliché and…

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20 Ways To Deal With Regrets

Thought Catalog

I regret losing all of my money and then losing my house. I regret not spending more time with my kids when they were little and I regret not saving the life of my dad when I could’ve.

In 2000 I was buying every IPO I could. It was already after the dot-com bust. I bought 50,000 shares of GoAmerica at $20. It went down to $1. I don’t know where it is now. I think now they give wireless devices to deaf people. I made lots of decisions like that. I went completely broke doing that. ZERO. So I took all the equity out of my apartment, about $1 million. Then I did the same thing. I lost all of that money also. Someone asked me how much money. The summer of 2000 I lost $15 million in cash. All of my money. I regret it.

I regret going…

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11 Signs Your Crush Will Never Work Out

Thought Catalog

1. They are not attracted to you. And how do you know this? They have definitely hinted or flat-out told you that you’re not their type. Chances are, this isn’t going to change.

2. You have absolutely nothing in common with them other than the fact you’re both of the same species.

3. You don’t like anything about them apart from the way they look. Nothing wrong with that, apart from you know, actually having to have a conversation with them once in a while.

4. Deep in your heart, you know that they are the shame-crush and you care way too much about what people will think if you pursue him or her.

5. You have polar opposite life goals. You’re certain that you want to travel to and/or live in at least 20 countries. They plan on living in the same city or town for the rest of…

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The One Person You’re Not Supposed To Fall In Love With

Thought Catalog

You can fall in love with almost anyone. Go to a bar on a Tuesday night looking like crap and you might just end up finding your life partner hanging out by the jukebox. It happens. Love is quick. After years of waiting, it can finally appear just like that.

There are certain people, however, that you are not supposed to fall in love with. Having feelings for them is forbidden, a clear violation of the social order, and, unfortunately, knowing that you can’t touch them often makes it more enticing. It goes back to the whole Adam and Eve thing. If you tell someone not to eat the fruit, they’re going to, all of a sudden, develop a craving for it. Eve probably hated fruit, she looks like more of a savory kind of girl, but once she was told she couldn’t have nature’s candy, it became high on…

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10 Ways To Deal With Losing The One Person You Want

Thought Catalog

I don’t know about you but I’d rather breakdance barefoot on broken glass than be rejected by the only person I want and desire. And yeah, I’m serious. The pain of losing the one you desire, the shame of being rejected, the self-doubt that sets in when you’ve been denied, they all teach you how emotional pain can feel far worse than physical pain. And I’m not speaking metaphorically. I would gladly do bloody backspins before suffering heartbreak. The shitty thing is… we rarely get to choose.

I was once skateboarding down a super-steep hill in San Francisco when my board started to shake from speed-wobbles. Since I was going faster than cars were driving, when I finally crashed I shoved my hands down just as I hit the pavement. I thought I’d brace against the impact and then roll. Instead, my hands stuck to the blacktop, I slid the…

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9 Things Maybe You Didn’t Consider Before You Blamed Yourself

Thought Catalog

You couldn’t help it. Thanks to pathological self loathing or slut shaming or victim blaming or all of the above, it was as natural a response as the tears. No matter how many faults you’re freed from the chains of misconstrued self responsibility have kept you in the blame. Maybe if you had just considered….

1. You Can’t Know Everything About Everyone. Perhaps you’d met them or maybe friends vouched for them or the three cups of coffee two dinners and a round of drinks cemented a fleeting level of mutual understanding. Either way, you didn’t know them. You barely know yourself and you’re still learning about best friends and siblings and that questionable weekend your father took away from your mother, so how could you possibly know everything about them? There’s no way you could have foreseen their anger or envisioned their rage or predicted their baseless disregard for…

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